A Week in the Life of Kola Boof: Tweet Verse

Kola Boof may or may not be Sudanese or Egyptian or American; she may or may not have been kidnapped by the late Osama Bin Laden; she may or may not have been his secret lover for several years; she may or may not live in the USA under FBI protection; and she may or may not have foretold the death of Whitney Houston several years ago. What we can say for sure is that she has a twitter handle, and can be funny, fierce, weird and altogether awesome.

 

Queen Nzinga rode into battle…slept with over 300 men…beheaded 2,000 men. DID U KNOW THAT? @KnawledgeBorn @Anti_Intellect @IsisPaperzZ

 

bell hooks & Alice Walker have entire books abt. your fixation on your DICK & its rights. @KnawledgeBorn @Anti_Intellect @IsisPaperzZ

 

You always pointing the finger at “THE WHITE MAN”….obsessed…cause you want to be him. @KnawledgeBorn @Anti_Intellect @IsisPaperzZ

 

Black Women….will make you BLACK. That’s your real problem pink-toe licking Niggerstock motherfucker. @KnawledgeBorn

 

I don’t know how to say or explain this…..but I love my big titties. @Anti_Intellect

 

Hilarious how people think “I Don’t Wanna Get Hurt” was by Kylie Minogue……NOPE….that was Donna Summer.

 

RT @IsisPaperzZ: when blacks DO get in the position to be a racist, they ALWAYS forget who to be racist against.

 

I grew up with Donna Summer. She was the soundtrack for so many parts of my life.

 

Bessie Smith went to jail many times for beating & stabbing people (mostly men)~~ she was not like Billie Holiday. She wasn’t weak.

 

Bessie Smith was also known to beat & stab people. She didn’t take ass whoopings from men. OPENLY bisexual in 20’s @_L1vY_ @HarrietThugman

 

I like Bessie Smith much better than Billie Holiday. I like that Bessie was never the victim & didn’t sing “oh my man come beat me” songs

 

There’s so many people against my career….and I can’t express that strongly enough to my fans. My work is hell. @WaywardDivuh

 

I don’t want to die young. Whitney, Donna, Michael….they all died way too young. @Makosewe

 

Fried eggs sandwich for dinner ….on LOW CARB bread….making my meal a total of 2 carbs. **Feel great** (Carbs usually makes me sick)

 

I would like to fuck The Rock…but he’s not proud of blackness. So fucking would be all. @cocoblissful @MsNikkiStrong @wizdomselah

 

I might go on “Basketball Wives” just to fuck up a few bitches. I can’t stand that group. @EmpressVal

 

JOAN…so many people in this industry are ‘JEALOUS’ of my life, my talent & flair & my honesty. Don’t listen to them sis. @Milfinainteasy

 

LMFAO……I can’t party with airheads. I can’t. @EmpressVal

 

RT @EmpressVal: You go to a party and Michael Jackson and Prince are having a dance off. Who wins? <<–Hello….ONE of them is dead.

 

Why don’t you GOOGLE my biography? Everything about me is online. Or in my autobiography. @MelBeey @MsDanaYvette

 

Anytime a Black Woman wears her natural hair & has some type of intelligence & standards…she’s seen as threatening & having a bad attitude

 

NO PEOPLE…..I don’t really “fuck” for lobsters. FOH! w/that shit.

 

Girl, lobster aint’ overrated…it just don’t go in tacos. And folks can’t afford 2 buy it big enough. I fuck for lobsters @MissAngelaDavis

 

That’s not true AT ALL….those fuckers were blocked for calling me names….GOT THAT? And now you’re blocked too bitch. @Miekaaaa

 

Have you noticed the rise in “Black women Down Low” lesbianism?? I’m sorry. But many of these chicks AINT Gay. Just desperate @Fly11

 

I hope Israel wipes out the whole Arab world. **North African Mother Tweet; You Wouldn’t Understand**

 

Girl, I can’t even deal with Dildos. I’m infibulated. I need real dick …or none. @Fly11

 

Vagina should smell like a newborn baby (meaning all natural & clean, clean, clean)….that’s my rule. @EmpressVal @ymacy

 

RT @DIGITALinktoday: VIRGINS IN THE BEEHIVE eBook by Kola Boof predicted Whitney Houston drowning years ahead of time. http://amzn.to/IDrVf7

 

Oh please. She was infibulated that’s all. sigh. Didn’t you read the article about my pussy? Same thing happened. @BlackGod917 @Diggswayne

 

That’s true….we have a LOT of “Fat Sexy Black women”…..they have shape & body along with being big. I know many Fat BW who look good!

 

What do you do again Joe??? You got that Sexy White boy with a Black cock thing going, daddy. @JoeLostRespect

 

It stuns me when people call me “angry”….because I spend so much time laughing all day. They don’t get it. @IsisPaperzZ @BlackGod917

 

Virgos are naturally evil. They come from islands usually. Poverty-stricken villages with skinny chickens. @BlackGod917 @IsisPaperzZ

 

My ex-husband was about 5’10. Most of the men I’ve been with were 5’6, 5’8, 5’10. Osama was 6’7. @CyrilYusupov @IsisPaperzZ @zoozees

 

RT @IsisPaperzZ: RT @Wh0shotYa: Folk act like all Mothers are worthy of respect. Some Mothers are fucking dirtbags. <<Yeah but less than 1%

 

If they HAVE to show a *beautiful black woman*…they make sure she’s MIXED & damn near white. It’s on purpose. @mikeytheweasel

 

They always want to give some motherfucking Indians, Arabs and Whites the fucking credit.

 

NOTICE how FAST the American Indians “shrivel up”??? ….They age faster than White people.

 

For every goddamn “American Indian” in your bloodstream…you got 50 goddamn Africans, mofos!

 

American Indians aint SHIT!!!!! …if you got any fucking cheebones…its from us Africans.

 

At least the White men approach you in a dignified “kind” manner…..the Mexican guys PINCH you & make loud lewd comments.

 

OH—boohoo—the mean African lady is talking about us; she HAAATES USSSSSS and she’s so unfair…boohoo. @dopeAMANTE

 

Black Americans are really weird people. I mean *unnatural*…and I’m just sorry.

 

One beacon of light…..the African immigrants in California are United & very powerful. They now OWN major areas of Olympic/Wilshire

 

At least these Mexican men are fine. I will say that.

 

Sojourner Truth was raped by the White Female wife of her master for years. Not by him.

 

When you **OWN** people…it’s very difficult not to fuck them. (White men & Slaves)

 

There was also a Vice President of the U.S. who married his Black Slave woman. He was impeached or something. @EmpressVal

 

That’s what I keep trying to explain Black Critics…”I” …would rather leave my own record of Bin Laden than end up like SALLY @EmpressVal

 

Sally went to Paris at 14….but she had her first baby by President Jefferson at 12. That child was named Thomas Jefferson. @EmpressVal

 

Wow…. Cyndi Lauper got fatter.

 

Really….the MAJORITY of Africa is a bunch of ‘slave-minded’ niggerstock. We in the North want to be Arabs & worship Islam/Arab. PITIFUL

 

I really believe that Black America is dying. And it feels as though I’m the only one who can see it…everyone else is blind.

 

I tried to have sex with a Woman TWICE….I just really hated it. But I don’t think attempting it makes me Gay. @Lotyslove @ToriNicksWho

 

The industry still sees me as “Bin Laden’s whore; black womanist novelist”…so I have to EARN my way to cookbook. @deepidhaliwal

 

What I like about Russian men…is that they’re usually MANLY and can fuck. I mean really fuck. (*HESH up now) @Mz_BK_Phoenix @EmpressVal

 

RT @MissAngelaDavis: this was the veggie lasagna w/ goat cheese & bechamel sauce, plated. Topped w/ fried sage leaves. http://bit.ly/KjoiOg

 

The thing about SEX…..is that you shouldn’t do it with too many people. That’s key.

 

I mean….unless you’re going to suck 50 dicks….it would be better to practice with something YOU control first. @Mz_BK_Phoenix

 

No, there’s sausages and things that are BETTER for practice. The real thing is too much in the moment & his ego/selfishness @Mz_BK_Phoenix

 

sausages that have stability, length and bend….can be great practice for swallowing.

 

RT @OMGFacts: In the 1870s fisherman used globs of Vaseline as bait to hook trout.

 

You could juice mango & scallions with a lil white wine into a drizzle for shrimp & other seafood. Same thing. @MissAngelaDavis

 

If you cook fruit skin (such as peach skins) into the wine, then mix it w/gravy….can be extremely delish. Takes practice @MissAngelaDavis

 

“At my age I don’t care what they do with their Peters” —My 70 yr. old Black American Mum on Dr. Dre being gay (she heard via Suge Knight)

 

RT @OMGFacts: A BLACK rapper was arrested for killing and eating parts of his girlfriend! Details –> http://bit.ly/J7DNuY

 

Just because I don’t care for Kobe Bryant (and I don’t at all)….doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to tape his mouth up & fuck him. @captorin

 

Example: I could fuck Mitt Romney….but I can’t stand him.

 

There’s lots of people I can’t stand….but would like to FUCK…..sex is not emotional. You’re soon to be BLOCKED bec. U annoy @captorin

 

I used to write daytime soaps….true….but my advice is STOP watching them. That’s not real love.

 

LOVE….is a “family feeling”….its base is friendship. All that romantic/lovey dovey shit is TV frosting

 

Telling you….I’ve ALWAYS had a man….and my rule is that I don’t allow them to spend money on me for at least 6 months. And no sex.

 

Twitter & the internet have made it so that “Reclusive Hermit” folks can chat with the planet. LOL. I’m a prime example.

 

Alice Walker thinks that the best ideal for Women is to have lesbianism as an option. I feel “whore” is best @IsisPaperzZ @yaaDetroitewaa

 

Zuma was long ago. I don’t want to say bad things. Only much love for South Africa. @Zintle_M @DidiOnPoint

 

Chile….I don’t feel like speaking DUTCH today. lmao

 

RT @NaijaRoyale: They say fat ppl shouldn’t wear yellow. I say, fuck ’em! http://bit.ly/Jq0iaW <<-You are fucking gorgeous. They ddnt mean U

 

I wish I was 22 again right now. I’d be servicing so many fine ass men. But at 42. I’m just too fucking TIRED. shit. Old.

 

Exerpted from KOLA BOOF (Official)@KolaBoof

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One Response to “A Week in the Life of Kola Boof: Tweet Verse”
  1. Craig Brown 23 January 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    “Just because I don’t care for Kobe Bryant (and I don’t at all)….doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to tape his mouth up & fuck him. @captorin”

    wow what??!!